Psalm 73:28

All I Want For Christmas

2011-12-18T14:01:00.000-08:00

Life lesson #999,999,976: If I am not content in this season of life, I am not going to be content in the next season of life. Joy comes from the Lord, not my circumstances.

I’ve recently realized that I spend a majority of my time thinking about the future. I am always asking God to show me the next big thing. It seems as if there is a problem with where I find contentment, huh? Joy comes from the Lord. Period. I would be willing to bet $1,000 that if I were in America right now with all the things that are familiar to me—my family, my friends, my bed, my favorite Christmas treats—I still would not be satisfied if the source of my contentment is not Jesus Christ. I have been thinking of how many memorized songs I sing that say something along the lines of “You are all I need, Jesus…You are my everything”, but do I really mean that? Jesus is all I need, don’t get me wrong, but I think my head knows that truth better than my heart. What I sing in my heart sounds more like this: “Jesus you are all I need…well, you and dark chocolate, a hot shower, the aroma of Christmas throughout my apartment, and everything else that makes me comfortable.” Thank the good Lord above; He loves me too much to let me stay the same. My song is slowly starting to change as God reminds me that He is indeed more than enough for me.

Honestly, I can’t believe how much I am growing to love life here. I mean, the things I can’t stand about this country far outweigh the things I like, yet my heart seems to fall more in love with this place every day (well, minus the few bad days that make me want to crawl up in a ball and teleport to my bed in America). It’s hard to explain...and probably sounds really ridiculous, but life lesson #999,999,976 is a hard and beautiful lesson to learn. Not every minute here in Senegal is exciting and breathe taking, trust me, but there are some days that my heart finds joy that I have never known before.

I thought that I would want to be on plane heading home around Christmas, but I actually love celebrating the season in Senegal with my second family and my precious Senegalese friends. I miss home. A lot. A whole lot. But this year I get to spend Christmas away from all the hustle & bustle that comes along with the Holidays in America, which is rather delightful. We have had some great and hilarious times spreading Christmas cheer in Senegal. John-Mark, bless his soul, made us the most fabulous fireplace I have ever seen in all of my days. We have made snowflakes, a Christmas wreath, ornaments, and wrapped empty boxes just because we can. One of my favorite things to do is sing Christmas carols to our taxi drivers. We have received mixed reactions…some LOVE it and attempt to sing along, but others turn up the radio telling us to shut up without words.

Sorry that this blog is full of random thoughts that I have collected in my scattered brain to tell the brave souls who care to sort through them. Anyhow, on to my next thought. One thing I want more than anything this Christmas is to fall more in love with Jesus Christ. I want Christmas to be about more than the lights, trees, and gifts. What if this Christmas, we went further than just posting a Facebook status that says “Jesus is the reason for the season”. What if we spent less time updating Facebook with empty phrases and more time at the feet of Jesus, who left His throne on high to be born in the most humble of places to die so that YOU and I can have eternal life? I know that Christmas is not the most wonderful time of the year for everyone, but I hope that you can find joy in the most precious gift of all—God’s only son. Christmas looks different every year…things change and so do people, but the reason we celebrate Christmas does not change. God’s love for you is unchanging, unending, unexplainable, and unconditional. God showed the ultimate act of love by sending His son to the earth to save us while we were busy trying to save ourselves. That’s MY King!

Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noel!

Jesus Wrecked My Life

2011-11-14T17:15:00.000-08:00

Jesus wrecked my life, shattered it to pieces, and put it together more beautifully.

-Katie Davis

It’s true; Jesus wrecked my life and made it more beautiful.

I remember the night that Jesus wrecked my life so clearly. After 17 years of wondering where the heck God was and why He never seemed to listen to my prayers, I realized that I didn’t even know God. Sure, I knew about God. I knew all of the bible stories I learned in Sunday school. I knew all the worship songs. I knew all the right things to say to make people label me Christian. What I didn’t know: Jesus had been knocking on the door of my heart for quite some time and I had never let Him in. He had been pursuing me for so long, but I was too busy trying to make everyone believe that I had it all together. I will never forget that night. It was a beautiful surrender. I gave up. I let Christ invade my heart that had been longing for Him since the day I was born.

It was a beautiful night, no doubt about that, but I knew what was to follow this decision. There were a lot of things in my life that had to hit the road and that was scary. I knew that Jesus would create beauty from my brokenness, but starting that very night—Jesus Christ wrecked my life. I was desperately afraid of giving up the comforts of my self-loving life to follow Jesus. I still am. In the midst of what felt like chaos in the months to follow, I had an unexplainable joy and still do to this very day. I know that if God calls me to give anything up, what I gain is much greater. I gain more of Him and less of me.

He must become greater; I must become less. John 3:30

After that night, I wanted to know everything about Jesus. I remember reading straight through Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John within days. I had heard the story of Jesus so many times, but this time it was different. It was as if I had never heard it before. When I started reading, I didn’t want to put my bible down. Jesus Christ captivated me. The more I learned about the love of Jesus, the more uncomfortable I became living such a mediocre life when God loves me with such an extraordinary love. I wanted to love others like Jesus. Not to mention, we are commanded to love like Jesus.

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. John 15:12

I will let you in on a little secret: Be careful what you pray for. When I realized it is a commandment to love, I prayed for opportunities to love people and God answered. Loving people is hard. I had this idea in my head that it was easy to love people, but that was before I understood that we are called to love our enemies. Love the people who annoy the poo out of you. Love the people who have broken your heart. Love the people who have hurt you deeply. Love the people who couldn't care less whether or not you love them. Love the people who are not like you. Love the people nobody else loves.

I not only prayed for opportunities to love, but opportunities to GO to the nations and love people because Jesus said, “Go therefore and make disciples of ALL nations, baptizing them min the name of the father and of the son and the Holy Spirit.” Once again, God answered. Once again, I asked myself why did I pray for this again? I am kind of kidding, but serious at the same time. I was scared out of my mind. I was like Moses when God told him to lead His people out of Egypt. I said “God, you’ve got the wrong girl. Send someone else!” God said to Moses in Exodus 4, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.” God said that to Moses, but every time I read that I put my name at the end as if He is saying it straight to me. I decided to go. To Clearwater, to East Asia, to Haiti, and now to Africa. The initial fear of following God to hard places never left, but neither did God’s promise that He would be with me always, to the very end of age.

“As I go with Him to the hard places, He changes them into the most joyful places I could imagine.” –Katie Davis

Some people thought I had lost my mind when they heard that I was going to Africa for a year without finishing my last year of college. I even thought I lost my mind at times. It was a hard decision, but quite possibly one of the greatest decisions I have ever made. I decided to simply follow and God did not forget His promise to be with me. The last two months have been incredibly challenging and stretching, and I have been forced to depend on God for every ounce of joy. Tonight as I write this blog, I can honestly say that my cup overflows. I have seen God in ways that I never thought possible. I can’t even explain the joy that I have felt this past week as God has changed this hard place into the most joyful place I could imagine.

I love my life…every second of it. It is crazy, truly. When I graduated high school and thought about my “5 year plan”, I assure you that taking a year off school and going to Africa was not even a thought. I sleep on a mattress in the floor. I sing Christmas Carols to my taxi drivers. I eat sheep liver. I laugh so hard I cry. Sometimes…I just cry. I miss home. I hang out with my family on skype. I wash my clothes by hand. I wipe a layer of dirt off my sheets every night. I fight with the ants on my counter every morning before I make breakfast. I get followed by the little boys on the street everyday because they know I can’t say no to their precious little faces. I dance around in a congo line at dinner and clap off beat because that is normal here. I share the love of Jesus Christ with people who are desperate to know God. I wash my feet and they are dirty the second I step out of the shower. I worship in French and understand ¼ of what I sing. I love my new home. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I am no longer afraid that God will call me somewhere I don’t want to go. I know that wherever God wants me, as uncomfortable as it may be, is right where I want to be. Do You know what really scares me? The thought of going back to my mediocre, comfortable, selfish life. I don’t think I have to be in Africa to step out of my comfort zone, but I did have to come to Africa to realize that God can make the most uncomfortable places the places where I find the most joy in Him. I am so thankful that God took my mess of a life and made it beautiful. I am thankful that He gave me a new heart—a heart that beats for Him.

Love in every language

2011-10-23T18:37:00.000-07:00

Meet Asu.

Isn’t she lovely? This little girl can put a smile on my face faster than anyone I know. I pass her every day, sometimes multiple times depending on how many times I walk by the mosque to the right of our apartment. She sits outside with women who beg for money all. Day. Long. Every child’s dream, huh? Sit right outside a mosque in the heat all day, hang out with old women, and enjoy whatever leftovers people throw at them.

I have absolutely fallen in love with this beautiful little girl. The other day I gave her the motion to come with me as I was walking to the fruit stand. I took her hand and we walked to get a few apples. I wish I could have taken a video of the expression on Asu’s face when I held her hand. You would think that I had just given her a pony. She smiled from ear to ear. She kept looking at our hands linked together and then up to my face.

Today when I walking home, Asu was on her knees praying some memorized prayer along with everyone else who hangs out beside the mosque to pray. I had bought apples on the way home, so she ran up to me and I shook her sweet little hand and gave her an apple. As I was walking away I said to myself, “An apple. Really, Whitney? She is on her knees praying to a God who does not exist and you are giving her an apple?” Then I remembered-I cannot save the world. In fact, I cannot even tell her that Jesus Christ came to save the world because I cannot speak her language. I can pray. I can love her. I can trust that God is sovereign.

Things we would only do in Senegal (To be continued...)

2011-10-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

Mary and I have created a list of things we would only do in Senegal. Enjoy.

1. Ride in a fishing boat with a random Senegalese man with the engulfing aroma of the many dead fish literally in between our toes.

2. Sing Christmas carols to the top of our lungs to a taxi driver who does not like Christmas.

3. Serenade the employees and customers of Nicecream with a well known Whitney Houston song, I will always love Nicecream.

4. Wash mounds of sweaty clothes by hand in a bathtub.

5. Sit on a mat in the floor, share one big bowl, and eat with our hands.

6. Create our own fun by using mini pumpkins as army based walkie talkies. (Breaker, breaker 5-oh. Workin’ at the car wash. Yep, just workin’ at the car wash. Woah oh oh oh. Car wash, ya. Over.)

7. Attempt to do a 1,000 piece puzzle without electricity at night.

8. Lace the top of our mattress with Senegalese baby powder in hopes that the layer of baby powder will absorb your sweat in the heat of the night. Simba, one of the many characters on the lion king sheets left here by previous STINTers, is now an albino lion. Rawr.

9. Sweat through t-shirts.

10. Chase goats around campus.

11. Have our clothes custom made by our very own tailor.

12. Repeat 5 times a day I love Mike and Ikes to the tune of a well known chant I hear coming from our neighbors “house”.

13. Wear v-necks and long skirts every day.

14. Cook on a propane tank as a stove.

15. Dance like Shakira in front of fully veiled Muslim women. Hey, don’t judge…they were doing it too.

16. Cry because my ice cubes taste like soap.

17. Cry because We…we…we… we are. In. AFRICA. While being dramatically sprawled out on the floor.

18. Skype until 4 in the morning.

19. Have 3 nights of sleepovers in the Kitchen.

20. Check my bananas for worms every time I eat them because in America, God bless America, my lovely bananas are infused with dangerously toxic chemicals and that’s the way I like it.

21. Eat the only bag of Pistachios I brought to Senegal while writing this blog.

22. Accidently tell the servers I am dead instead of I am done.

23. Vigorously proclaim I don’t know Whitney when attempting to say My name is Whitney to a child.

24. Avoid standing water due to its unknown source. We call puddles here “poo water”. No jumping in puddles for this girl!

25. Find humor in playing the game pterodactyl. (You have to say pterodactyl without showing your teeth.)

26. Eat a fish eye.

27. Tell our landlord to touch our teammates beard in french.

28. Sleep with dryer sheets all around my body. We were told it keeps the bugs away. It doesn't work, just in case you are wondering.

We could mention a few more, but due to political correctness we will not.

This is my lovely friend Rose, teaching us how to dance. She is from Haiti and she is studying in Dakar!

This is right before we ate fish eyes. yummm.

So much fabric...

This is where I live. (Well...it is a twenty minute walk, but I go every other day. Wouldn't you?)

My team enjoying our night off eating fresh fish!

Our boat ride to an island to nom nom an amazing dinner.

Our first ministry party!

The Reality of Hell

2011-10-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here is the deal. I have been trying to muster up a way to sugar-coat my experiences in Senegal to portray some distorted view of what life looks like making God’s name known in a place that is unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I have countless stories of incredible times I have had, but right now I must confess—this is hard. Believe it or not, my sin followed me to Africa. Strange, I know. Things I struggled with in America did not disappear when I followed God to Dakar. I was selfish in America, I am selfish in Senegal. I was prideful in America, I am prideful in Senegal. I was anxious in America, I am anxious in Senegal. In fact, my sin is magnified in Senegal. I can already tell that this year has and will be extremely refining.

I am a pretty easy-going person. So I thought. That is, until the drama queen that has been trapped inside of me was released Saturday morning when I woke up realizing we still had no running water in our apartment. All I wanted was a shower, a cup of coffee, and to wash a cold crisp apple. Is that too much to ask, President Wade? I am just getting used to not having power for a large chunk of the day, and then not having water is added to the mix. I did learn a very valuable lesson: take a shower when you have water. Oh, and maybe this too: Jesus is more than enough. Even though I am repeatedly learning that Jesus alone is enough to satisfy, I still find my heart and mind everywhere except Senegal. I still ask God, why am I here?

Today when I asked, Why am I here?, He gave me an answer that is tough to swallow. God did not come to the little café I was in today and chat with me over a cup of coffee, but what He revealed to me was unmistakably the answer I was looking for as I dug into God’s word and listened to a podcast about Heaven and Hell. This was the answer to my question: Whitney, you are here because nearly every single person you pass on the streets of Dakar does not know me, thus will spend all of eternity apart from me. To put it bluntly, every single person who does not have a relationship with Jesus Christ will go to Hell when they die. According to statistics, that is about 95% of the people of Senegal, give or take a little. There is no sugar-coating that truth.

It became even more of a reality when I started to put names with that truth. Muhammad the fruit stand man will spend eternity in Hell because He does not know Jesus Christ. Limon and Doo Doo [Excuse the spelling, but that is how you say their names], my favorite Senegalese painters, will spend eternity in Hell because they do not know Jesus Christ. My funny friend Fatou will spend an eternity in Hell because she does not know Jesus Christ. I started to realize the seriousness of why we are called to make disciples of all nations. I realized the seriousness of why I am here in Dakar, Senegal.

Hell is a real place, and there are real people there. It is a place of unending judgment. A place of torment, anguish, and flames. I am not trying to be a “bible thumper” by taking the truth that is in the bible and putting it in a blog, I am trying to spare those of you who do not have a relationship with Jesus Christ an eternity in Hell. You might be thinking If God is so loving, why would he send anyone to Hell? I’m glad you asked. You’re darn right God is loving, but keep in mind—God is perfect, for that reason, He is fully loving and fully just [fair]. The bible says that the punishment for sin is death. Everyone sins, everyone deserves death. Period. So if God is fully just, everyone deserves death. Thank God that He provided a way out of that punishment through His son. Our sin had to be paid for, or God would not be who He says He is. God knew from the beginning of time that we would mess up. He also knew from the beginning of time that He would send His only son to live a sinless life and be the ultimate sacrifice for our sin. Jesus Christ took our place on the cross. He took our punishment.

As I thought further about the reality of nearly everyone I know in Senegal spending an eternity apart from Christ, I thought about my sweet Senegalese friend, Khodou, who gave me her explanation of how you can get to God. In her opinion, there are many ways to God. She told me that you can take many different ways to the mosque, but eventually you will get there. She continued to tell me that in the same way, there are many different ways to God. Khodou is terribly mistaken. There is only one way to God. There is only one way to eternal life. That is through Jesus Christ.

Living by the mosque, I hear the call to prayer 5 times a day [starting at 5 am]. 5 times a day I listen [sometimes plugging my ears and making up words to their not-so-pretty song-ish prayers] to people crying out to a God who is not real. It is a constant reminder of the weight of the command to make disciples of all nations. There is still so much to be done. The thing is, you don’t have to go to another country to realize that there is work to be done…just walk outside your front door.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

Jesus loves the little talibe boys

2011-09-26T17:39:00.000-07:00

I’ve found myself humming the tune of this childhood Sunday school song habitually as I walk the streets of Dakar. In my head it goes like this:

Jesus love the little talibe boys

All the talibe of the world

Red, yellow, black, and white

They are precious in His sight

Jesus loves the little talibe boys of the world

Countless times I have walked down the streets of Dakar trying to keep myself from crying as I walk away from a desperately begging talibe boy. Parents send their little boys to the a school to learn to memorize the koran in hopes that they will have a better life. The boys have to beg for money to pay the marabout who teaches them. [learn more about talibe boys here] I am learning a very hard lesson: I am not their savior. While I would like to think that my giving of an apple or an orange will change the destiny of a begging child’s life, I am fully aware that there is only one person who can offer hope to these seemingly hopeless children. That person is Jesus Christ. He alone can save the talibe boys from a life of hopelessness.

I have had a whirlwind of emotions as I brood over the overwhelming reality that there are children right outside my door and all over the world that were basically born into a life of slavery. Children who are shown less love than my 3 dogs at home, if shown any love at all. Children who are beat if they don’t meet their daily quota of money for the Marabout they serve.

It is not really wise to give the boys money considering it just feeds into the corruption, so Michelle[my lovely Senegalese expert and team leader] told us to give them fruit and bread. She also told us to look them in the eyes and to shake their hand...to make them feel like a human being…to make them feel even a slight hint of love. As I was walking home the other night, I saw 7 or 8 of the talibe boys near a fruit stand. I thought about the fact that the ipod in my hand could probably meet their daily quota 50 times…I seriously wanted to throw up just thinking about it. I decided to buy them all some fruit. The smallest little boy pointed to an apple and looked up at me with a huge grin on his face. He was telling me that he wanted an apple. He was telling me that he had a preference. I cannot get that sweet little boy out of my head. I realized that up until that moment I had just labeled each little begging boy as a talibe boy. They are all unique. They all have a name. They all have likes and dislikes. They were all created to live for something so much greater than the life their parents chose for them.

I have tried to come up with a master plan to save all of the little talibe boys from a life of misery, but none of them seem as if they are going to work out. I am choosing to look at the bigger picture, and the more I do…the more I love being a part of something so much larger than anything I could come up with on my own. God has placed my team on a college campus in Dakar that is larger than any campus in the United States. It is HUGE. God is making Himself known to the future leaders of Senegal by using a team of 8 crazy people [who I love and adore, of course]. Isn’t that incredible? What we are doing here is so much bigger than us. I cannot save every little talibe boy, but I can be used to influence someone who can.

Song of the week

It will be funny later

2011-09-17T16:57:00.000-07:00

My new life motto: It will be funny later.

I am 99.9% certain that no plan A will ever be carried out smoothly in Dakar, Senegal. We are constantly resorting to plan B [or C,D,E,F, and sometimes even G]. Even as I started to write this blog, plan B and C were pulled out within a matter of minutes. Our power went out, which means no internet to post the blog. Plan B: Type the blog on Microsoft Word and post it later. Oh, but of course…my computer has not been charged and I cannot charge it without power [is anyone surprised that my computer isn’t charged? Brittany? Mom?]. Plan C: Use my lovely and thoughtful roommate’s computer. Shout out to my toubab Rachel [Ray-shellll]!

My team has been here a little bit over a week, but it honestly seems like a lifetime. I just wrote out a list of all of the stories I want to write about and quickly realized that no one would take the time to read my blog if I used all of them. I hope by the stories I share throughout this year you will be able to see a glimpse of what life looks like from the eyes of a 20 year old toubab [white person] in Senegal, Africa.

The first day we got here, I started to wonder what the heck I signed up for. As I sat in our African apartment on our African couch next to our African bug infested kitchen, I almost couldn’t breathe. Anxiousness started to roll in like storm clouds. I am going to be really honest, several times I have viewed this year of serving the Lord in Dakar as a curse rather than a blessing. My thoughts have been altered drastically in a very short amount of time as God shows me what a blessing it is to make His name known in a country that is so desperate for His saving grace. I am reminded why I am here every day as I walk outside my door to people on their knees praying to a God whose message is cleanse yourself and then pray to me. That is why we are here. We are here to be a messenger of Jesus Christ, whose message is trust in me me and I will cleanse you.

Life is different here. Good, but different. Life in Senegal is not really comfortable and I am strangely ok with that. As Mark Driscoll would say, “When Jesus comes back, there will be sunshine every day. Hang in there.” Considering my conditions, I would like to change that quote up a tad: “When Jesus comes back, there will be 65 degree weather, leaves falling, and a pot of coffee brewing every morning. Hang in there.” I love fall, but I love Jesus way more. I love my cute brown boots, but I love Jesus way more. I love hanging out in my hammock as the leaves fall all around me, but I love Jesus way more. There are a lot of things I love, but God is teaching me more every day that He is the one I should love above all. He is eternal…fall and stylish boots certainly are not.

Trust me, there is so much more that I want to fill you all in on. Soon enough, friends, soon enough. I have barely even mentioned my team...that is a blog post to come. Before I try to take a nap [which most likely will not work out without the fan blowing in my face], I will finish by sharing just a few things I have learned since being in Dakar:

1. If you don’t put your cereal in a tightly closed Ziploc bag, ants will assume you wanted to share.

2. Leave the little baby lizard on your wall, it will eat those annoying mosquitoes that carry malaria.

3. It is disrespectful to take a picture even in the general direction of a Senegalese person. I learned this the hard way as a guy put down the mattresses that he was carrying on his head to come after us. Thankfully we were in a car and it was moving, or I would have been yelled at in a language that I don’t understand.

4. A cockroach can crawl in your ear and eat your ear drum which causes your body to go into shock because of the pain. Thank you so much for that bit of information, Mary! [Can you sense the sarcasm?]

5. Meals can be cooked AND eaten in the dark. Not just a microwavable meal [as if we have a microwave? Pshea right.], but a gourmet meal cooked by the dream team.

6. God is good. Whether I am in Richmond, Kentucky or Dakar, Senegal…His love never changes.

Finishing dinner in the dark...nom nom nom.

Thank you so much for all of the letters! I have already read them a zillion times. I say it alot, but I am truly a blessed gal!

A ton of people have asked for my address to send letters and packages. Just to warn you, it is expensive to send a package, so if you really want to send one, do it with a few people so the cost isn’t so bad. It seems a little bit demanding to put the things I would like sent, but everyone keeps asking, so I am going to! Some things I have thought about (some are selfish request, others are for my team. We pretty much share everything though, so even the selfish request will be for my team!) Clorox wipes, candles that smell like baked goods (the power is out a lot and cooking dinner is a wee bit difficult in the dark), fun hand towels, anything dark chocolate…seriously…anything, and really anything you can think of.

Whitney Low

BP 5413 Fann
Dakar, Senegal West Africa

Song of the week

Only an ocean away...

2011-08-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

What a day! I’ll tell you what…I could get used to all of these surprise parties. I’ll take another surprise party Tuesday night before I leave, please and thank you! On a serious note, I am so thankful for everything that has been done for me lately to send me off to Africa. I am completely undeserving of all of this party goodness I have been given, but I’ll take it! Shout out to my crazy awesome friend Alli for somehow dragging me out of the house with a box of pizza tonight to make it to my party and to my mom for always being so thoughtful. Yet again, it was perfect…I couldn’t have asked for a better night!

The party was not the only crazy part of my day, just let me tell you! My mother and I packed almost everything for my 10 month adventure into 2 big suitcases. If any of you know me well, you understand that this was no easy task. I like clothes. A lot. I like food. A lot. I like fun. A lot. I never thought I would fit all of the necessities [and a lot of things that were not necessary whatsoever…such as my pirate eye patch and mustache glasses] into 2 big suitcases. Thank God for my mom, space bags, and special dark chocolate chips! After a very long day of watching how my mom does her magic, we finally crossed the finish line. She was so excited to be done, she decided to throw a party. A surprise party! Maybe she had already planned that? I like to think she was celebrating all of our hard work.

I seriously tried to get my mom’s packing techniques down, but I quickly decided that I will just have to fly her out to Senegal when it’s time for me to come home to help me pack. I will probably want to fly her to Senegal many other times too…like when I want her to paint my toe nails or to cry and not feel like a big baby because she always understands. I guess that is a part of growing up…does anyone know how to stop this train? I’m not really into the whole “being an adult” thing that is going on all around me. Anyone have a manual or something of the sort? One thing is for sure- no matter how old I am, my mother will always be the first person I want to tell my good news and my bad, my lifelong teacher, and closest friend…even if we live an ocean away from each other.

One more thing. Hang in there. I received a few gifts again tonight…seriously people, stop being so great. I have got a lot of lovin’ to do when I get back. Someone is going to have to teach me how to throw a surprise party. I was given about 20 letters that I am going to save for the trip to Senegal, so I will be crazy emotional and my team will totally understand. My two favorite gifts were from two of the sweetest people I know, who just happen to be two people who taught me a lot about God’s love this summer. Mrs. Beulah is older [If you are reading this, you still look and act 25 ;)] and incredibly wise. She bought me the most precious guardian angel necklace and put a note in it that said to wear it as a constant reminder that I have a guardian angel. I wish I had known Mrs. Beulah before this summer, but I won’t waste any time spending time with such an awesome lady now that I do! The other person is quite young and so beautiful, encouraging, and more wise than she thinks. You are probably shaking your head right now as you read this, KIRBY! She made a little care package full of good stuff. The best part was a little dream catcher. I love dream catchers and I love hearing about dreams…strange, but true! I just became close to both Mrs. Beulah and Kirby this summer, but I don’t intend on that changing just because I will be in Africa!

Sweet Mrs. Beaulah

and

Sweet Kirby

To all of my party planning friends, tell me what to wear to the next one! I needed a Christmas sweater Friday and maybe a hairbrush today…just give me a little warning, ok?

Song of the week

Feliz Navidad

2011-08-28T20:23:00.000-07:00

At the end of May, I invited everyone to my unplanned Christmas in July party. I didn’t have a date or a place, I just thought the idea was brilliant! Party planning is not my specialty…I’m more of a party goer, so I didn’t end up getting the party together for several reasons. Time crept up on me and I just couldn’t think of a time that was good for all of my world traveling friends to get together. I decided to settle with blasting the 2 Christmas CD’s I keep in my car at all times and watching the Grinch [For the 15^th time this year if I’m not mistaken].

Friday night, I had a date with my roommates at Masala and then we went to hang out with all of my friends who I had been unintentionally inviting to my own surprise Christmas Party. All day Thursday and Friday I insisted that all of my friends be together Friday night because it was my last night in Richmond, so I invited everyone to the boy’s house on Sunset Avenue. Little did I know, they had already planned on being at Sunset that night…along with 50ish others who came to celebrate Christmas with me. I don’t know how I didn’t find out, but I was blown away when the door was opened and I walked into Christmas Wonderland. They started to sing Rudolph the red nose reindeer and Matt Stegman ran toward me dressed like a reindeer…needless to say, I was on the floor laughing/crying.

It was more than perfect. I seriously can’t believe [well, I can believe it…but it still blows my mind] all of the hard work my friends put into creating such an incredible night for me before I head out to Senegal. As if the Christmas party itself was not enough, I got to see a live performance from the Los Quintos. Get this- they wrote a special song for me titled Oh Whitney Low to the tune of Oh Christmas Tree. They gave me a copy of the lyrics and I am going to keep it in my journal and remember how funny and sweet my friends are. I was laughing and crying the whole time they sang. I even had gifts waiting for me under the tree! ITunes gift card, journals, a book, and a stocking full of my favorite: peanut buttttaaa! Oh, I almost forgot the best part…SANTA was there!

Even if my friends hadn’t thrown me an amazing surprise party, I would say everything I’m about to say. I know Jesus Christ the way I do today because of a lot of the people that were in that house Friday night. I have learned who Christ is on a deeper level because of the Christ-like characteristics I have seen in my friends throughout the past few years at EKU. I have learned what it looks like to be humble and gentle from my beautiful friend Brittany Cox. I have learned to be thankful from my best friend Megan Ledington. I have learned the importance of knowing the bible and spending time in the word everyday from Eric Powell, Mitchell Clayton, and Kyle Sivers. I have learned how to choose to love others and how to love people enough to confront them from Adria Kersey. I have learned how to be bold from Hannah Trivitt. I learned what it looks like to be passionate from Lindsay Nation and her love for the people of Haiti. I have learned what it looks like to be totally vulnerable from Jessica Varney. I have learned what it looks like to do everything as if working for the Lord and not men from Stu Jackson. [I’ve also learned what it feels like to dominate a man in every eating contest we compete in from Stu]. I have been reminded by Ashley Brooke what it looks like to be completely and utterly in love with Jesus Christ. I have learned a kindness that is very rare from Matt Stegman, Kody Thompson, and Willis Weatherford. I have learned how to forgive and how to be forgiven from Lindsay Joyce. I have learned how to choose the path less traveled on from Lauren Woodlee. I have learned to invest in people outside of my Christian bubble from Kyle Sears. I learned to be an encourager from Emily Gleason. I learned to be joyful in all circumstances from Chelsea Tipmore. I learned to recognize and use the unique talents we are blessed with to serve the Lord from Cheryl Kreke. I have learned (not to say that I have put it into practice) a very beautiful patience from Brittany Norris. I learned what it looks like to do everything without grumbling or complaining from Kim Kirtley. I was taught my need for Jesus Christ by Niki Scott in McGregor basement the night I decided to follow Jesus. I learned way too much to write from my bible study leader, discipler, and friend Mary Storie. She taught me how to be a disciple and how to make disciples.

There are so many others I could mention! I can assure you that every single person that was in that house Friday night is important to me and has shown me Christ in unique and beautiful ways. As I get ready to leave for Senegal next week, I leave with a full cup. An overflowing cup. Leaving such an amazing group of people behind isn’t going to be easy, but I hope to take all of the love and encouragement you all have given me and do what I have been called to do in Senegal! I can’t wait to hear about how God is using you all at EKU this year…I have a feeling the students of EKU are about to see God through you all like never before.

Thanks for being awesome, friends. I will see you in a year…only a year.
my favorite Christmas song

Happy Birthday Robbie

2011-08-23T20:23:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, I had to fight my brother to make him stay out of my room. He would stand right outside of my door and say I'm not in your room! These days I have to fight him to come in my room. If I had only known that I was only going to be the "cool older sister" for a few more years, I would have soaked it up! [All of you in your younger teens take note: your brother will soon be cooler than you...probably funnier too.]

I don't know how it happened. I went to college and my brother was 13 and short. I came back and he is 16 and as tall as a giraffe. As much as I miss my cute little fire fighting, nascar driving, hot wheel lovin' brother...I really love that he has grown to be a pretty cool friend. Enough of the mushy gushy...I will get to the point.

Happy 16th Birthday, brother! I don't know what I'd do without your crazy tail around!

This was his Birthday present from meee!

Dream Team

2011-08-22T18:21:00.000-07:00

17 days until I leave the good ol' US of A to live in Dakar, Senegal for 10 months. The thought of leaving my friends and family for a year made me want to curl up in a ball and stay there for a few days just a week ago! No exaggeration. I actually did crawl up in a ball several times and just laid in bed thinking what the heck am I doing? Thank God for STINT Briefing. I could feel the anxiousness (that is CLEARLY not from the Lord) melting away as I was sweetly reminded by so many people that we were made for this...we were made to bring glory to God by doing things that seem impossible through the power of the Holy Spirit. Things such as take a year off of school to go to Senegal with 7 people I did not know before this week, raise $35,000 in only a few months, and share the love of Jesus Christ in a Muslim nation.

"If you live gladly to make others glad in God, your life will be hard, your risks will be high, and your joy will be full".   John Piper

I have started to realize how true that quote is as I have prepared to sacrifice some significant things to make Christ's name known in Dakar, Senegal. I'm not going to pretend like it is easy to follow God, because it isn't. It almost makes me laugh when people ask the question Are you scared? Would you be nervous to leave your friends and family to go to a country that you have never been to for a year? That's what I thought. Of course I'm scared, but I am clinging to the truth that as a child of God we are not given a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power. In the grand scheme of things, sacrificing a year of my life to spend in Senegal is not really that big of a sacrifice. As I sit here and think about it, sacrifice is not a common theme in my life… I don’t really know very much about sacrifice. One thing I do know about sacrifice is that it saved my life. Because God sacrificed his son to take my place on the cross, my broken life has been made new. Now, I have been given the opportunity to go tell the people of Senegal that their broken lives can be made new too.

If I didn’t have to pack (or watch my mom pack for me), say goodbye to 2,798 people, and give my brother his awesome birthday present…I would be in Senegal tomorrow. (Ok, I might be exaggerating a little bit…a few more days with my mom would be nice.)

                                                          Meet my new family...
                                                             the dream team

What a relief to know that I not only like my team, but I absolutely LOVE them. It blows my mind that I get to spend a year with these amazing new friends.

My team made me do a lot of this...

Here is a glimpse of how great my team is:

14 people in a 7 passenger van. Don't believe me? Count.

Team Senegal, make it or break it...

He/she has to bark everytime they hear the word Jesus.

My song of the week

Dear apathy, stay the heck away from me.

2011-08-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

ap·a·thy ( p -th )

1. Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference.

2. Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness

That definition sums up my life right now. Apathy is lurking in every area of my life and I am doing nothing to stop it! The devil is probably very pleased with my current state of sluggishness, but not for long.

I ate lunch with my good friend Jacob yesterday and afterwards he sent me this text:

Satan is going to use everything against you this last 25 days. He is going to tell you that you are not good enough. Not ready. He’s going to use your mind against you. Going to distract you from doing God’s work. Don’t let him!

Enough said. Don’t let him. I have a choice: Give the devil a foothold (which I have been doing lately), or cling to the truth found in the God’s word. The truth that God will never leave me or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6). The truth that God will prune the junk out of my life because I am his child (John 15). The truth that God restores my soul (Psalm 23). The truth that I can approach God with freedom and confidence through faith in Him (Ephesians 3:12).

Kevin Haglund said something that I really liked in bible study last week, “God’s love is unconditional, but His promises are conditional”. I foolishly expect that God should just give me a never-ending desire to seek Him. God should not have to motivate me to seek Him! While He is fully capable of anything, God does not owe anything to me. I certainly do not want force someone to have a desire to spend time with me, do you?

The truth is that I spend more time on facebook than I do reading the bible. I text more than I talk to God. I sleep more than I spend time investing in others. I could go on for days, but my sinfulness is not the point I am trying to get across...God's greatness is. God deserves so much more than my dirty scraps. I put such little effort into my relationship with God and I expect huge results. Don’t hear me wrong, nothing I do can make God love me more or less, but God offers so much more than this worldly life that I tend to settle for and He deserves so much more than the puny worship that I have been sending up here and there. I serve a God who deserves a life devoted to worshipping Him in the everyday hustle and bustle.

I am leaving for Dakar, Senegal in 25 days. God has provided every penny (and more) of my financial needs. He has provided friends and family that remind me of His greatness. He has provided me with spiritual leaders to teach me more about His word and His character. He has provided me with a church that teaches truth. He has provided a way out of this pathetic state that I am in. I just need to seek him. One of the definitions of seek is to run after. I want to run after God. I want to put on the full armor of God so that I can take a stand against the devil's schemes to get me to focus on anything but God. Who’s with me?

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Ephesians 6:10-20

My jam of the week

If Heaven Weren't So Far Away

2011-07-24T21:48:00.000-07:00

A guy pointed to the picture in the EKU Newspaper that I held in my hand and said, “Did you hear about what happened to that girl?” Those two words that girl repeated in my head several times as I thought about how I would reply. Frankly, I wanted to respond with a good ol’ sucker punch to the gut, but he had no way of knowing that that girl was a very special person to me and so many others. That girl has a name- Hillary Morgan Hadley.

The first week of school I sat outside of Downstairs Powell watching the freshman frantically searching for their first class. They were, of course, 30 minutes early while the upper classmen were probably hitting snooze on their phones and wondering if it was even necessary to go to the first day of class. Tears built up in my eyes as I realized that there were thousands of students beginning their journey at EKU that would never have the chance to know sweet Hillary. They would never get the chance to be embraced by her unforgettable hugs. They would never get the chance to hear her lovable laugh. They would never get to see her beautiful smile that could change a bad day into a good day. They would never get to witness her breaking out into dance when she heard Single Ladies. They would never have the chance to encounter her confidence that I wish I had admired more while she was on earth.

An even more heartbreaking thought came to my mind…How many of these students would walk from life into death without knowing God, who Hillary loved so deeply. How many of the students that walked past me would never know that there is a God who loves the world so much that He had a plan from the beginning of time to redeem His people through His son. To so many people, He is just that man who died on the cross. I wish that everyone could understand how that man dying on the cross changed the destiny of our souls forever. That man left His throne on high to be born in a lowly manger. That man was tempted in every way, but remained without sin. That man is the only way to have a relationship with the one true and living God. That man came to rescue us from our sin and shame. That man was mocked by the ones He came to save. That man died a painful death on a cross and drank the cup of wrath that we deserved. That man rose from the dead. That man is the reason we have no fear in death. That man is the reason Hillary stands before God today and everyday pure and blameless. That man has a name-Jesus Christ.

It has almost been a year since the day I received a phone call that changed my life and the life of so many forever. I know that the next couple of weeks are going to be so hard for a lot of people. I am definitely not the best fit person to write a blog about Hillary. There are people that could create a much more beautiful picture of Hillary for you, but I hope that it is clear to everyone the impact Hillary made in her short, yet remarkable life. Nick Ray uses the word “captivating” to describe Hillary…I think that is perfect. People were captivated by Hillary. People were captivated by her desire to know Jesus Christ and make His name known everywhere.

I got this silly balloon for Chelsea and Hillary as a house warming gift. We named it Franklin!

My mother, my friend

2011-07-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

Today, not unlike any other day, I did something really “blonde”. I went to my mom’s office to make a copy of my passport so that I could take care of getting my Visa. I head towards London to eat and take care of mailing my passport when I realize, I don’t have my passport or my debit card. This happens on a daily basis, and usually the story is much more entertaining. This does have a point, I promise! I make a U-turn and go back to the office to get money and my passport and my mom’s friend said “You are your mother’s child!” That’s when I started thinking…I hear that a lot… and to be honest, I love it! People have always told me I sound just like my mother and look just like my mother, but now people have started to tell me how much I act like my mother. To some, hearing you are just like your mother may be a gut wrenching thought. For me on the other hand…it is quite flattering.

My mom is not extremely outgoing or loud. She is rather gentle and soft spoken, which…if you know me, you are fully aware that my mother and I do not have that in common! The beautiful thing about it is that she doesn’t have to be loud to be heard. That is something you think I would have already learned after 20 years of living with her! I could probably write a book about how my mom has taught me about Christ through her Christ-like way of living, but writing is not my forte…I think I will stick to singing.

For as long as I can remember, my mom has always been the person to take the role that no one really wants to take. The role that usually goes unnoticed. She is always the one who will stay and help clean until the very last second, the one who will go out of her way to help someone, the one who people will call when they need something or just someone to talk to. I think you would be amazed by some of the things my mom has done for other people…and she doesn’t say a word about it. She is like Mrs. Clause around Christmas time. She can’t stand the thought of a child not celebrating Christmas. Her selfless love has given many families hope in what seems like a hopeless situation. It is always my prayer to do things for the glory of God and not the glory of Whitney and I can honestly say that I have a very tangible example in my very own home of a woman who lives to bring glory to God. She understands what true worship is. Our adoration for God is what brings us to worship and there are so many areas of my mom’s life that show her absolute adoration for God. Worship to my mom is much more than singing a song on Sunday morning that stirs up emotions. Her life is an act of worship. What an incredible role-model. The reason my mother is such an incredible role-model is simple—she strives to be like the perfect and ultimate role-model, Jesus Christ.

So let’s raise a glass (of sparkling grape juice, of course) to all of the praying, gentle, supportive, sacrificing, selfless, caring, kind, loving, honest, and Christ-like mothers in the world. Now let’s raise our hands to our Great God whose love is unmatched by any mother on this earth.

I wish I had eloquent words that could express my gratitude for such a Godly mother and clearly express how much she means to me (and half of the world), but it is past my bed time. Enough said.

You'll be in my heart

2010-11-12T08:00:00.000-08:00

Hillary Morgan Hadley

The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms.
Deuteronomy 33:27

Remembering you today and everyday.

Gossip Girl

2010-11-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace from that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing that we can do is play on the one string that we have and this string is, Attitude. I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it. And so it is with you....We are in charge of our Attitudes.
-- Charles Swindoll

I discovered this quote today as I was googling (According to spell check that is not a word) “inspirational quotes” for my education portfolio. How freakin’ obvious is that quote? Yet, I can’t seem to wrap my small brain around it and that is evident if you glance at my life right now. We all do this, don’t even pretend like YOU don’t, but I am not calling anyone out, instead I will talk about how ridiculous I am lately. I get so wrapped up in the actions of other people. Even if I don’t say anything, I will take part in a conversation that goes something like this:

“Oh. My. Gosh. I can NOT believe that so and so went there and did this with so and so”
“I know! What a horrible person! I have so much room to judge, I should be the first to throw a stone because I have never sinned a day in my life and if I keep talking about this person’s actions it will really change something and point people to Christ.”

Really, Whitney? Really?! I have noticed my apathy towards pointing my conversations away from gossip and towards Christ a lot lately. It’s because I got the big head. Uh huh, that’s right…the big head. I thought that I—key word being I—had kicked gossip to the curb a while ago, so I don’t need to give that area of my life to God anymore. Right? Psheaaa, [insert the voice of the Grinch with his long finger swaying left to right]-WRONGO . I stopped relying on God to steer away from conversations like this and became prideful in this area of my life. Thankfully, because I am a child of God…because I have been saved by grace…because nothing I do—good or bad—can change God’s love for me, I am NOT a slave to sin. I do not have to feel like gossip is a chain tied to my feet. Praise God for the Holy Spirit. Praise God for conviction and sanctification. Thank you Lord…for making me more like Christ. Praise God…He is good even when we are not.

So, what am I going to do about it? Change my attitude by looking to Christ. It does no good to talk about the things people SHOULD do and they way people SHOULD act. I am responsible for the way I react to others actions. I’m sure you have heard Gandhi’s well known saying, “Be the change you wish to see in the world”…well why don’t we do just that? If we think someone should show more love…show them more love. If we think someone needs to have a positive attitude…show them your positive attitude. If you think someone needs to step off their high horse…show them how to be humble. Let’s stop talking about change and be the change. That is no doubt easier said than done, but by prayer and steps of faith it can be done. I am really telling all of this to myself, but I think we can all use a little encouragement sometimes.

[I have had 1 red bull, 2 cups of coffee, and 3 hours of sleep…so just keep that in mind if you are reading this wondering why I am all over the place.]

He must become greater; I must become less. repeat.

2010-10-15T07:39:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would create a blog. I love to write, but only in my journal--I would probably cut off your hand if you attempted to read it, yet I am getting ready to express my feelings online for the world to see. 6 hours at work sitting at a desk makes me do crazy things! So, here goes nothing. I have no followers, maybe one day I will save up the courage to actually let someone read it. Maybe one day soon. Maybe never? Who knows...

Obedience stinks. I know the ending of every act of obedience is so beautiful, but in the midst of waiting for the glorious ending I find myself doubting my beautiful Lord. He has never failed me before, but time and time again I find myself feeling drained and hopeless as I give this "patience" stuff a try. If I am really honest, I don't fully trust God at all. Being patient in my eyes has always been waiting one day for God to answer a prayer, and if he hasn't answered it when and how I want it to be answered, he obviously hasn't heard me. The slightest hardship hits and I fail to remember everything God has blessed me with. I fail to remember the million other times God has pulled through in ways that caused my jaw to drop. God has recently shown me in such a real and powerful way that I am so helpless without Him. He is making all the knowledge I know in my head become heart knowledge. I see now that my prayer is always for God to change my circumstances, but my prayer should really be to praise God in every season, no matter the circumstances. The reason I have felt drained and hopeless is pretty obvious, but in the moment it almost seems as if I want to stay in the helpless state that I'm in. I don't feel like laying down my pride and letting God take the wheel. The reason for my feelings of emptiness is because I am recklessly running around like a chicken with my head cut off, attempting to fix everything in my own strength and trying to fill myself up with things that I foolishly believe will make me happy. I go to so many worldly things before I turn to God...things that may even seem "good", but they just don't satisfy--spiritual leaders, parents, family, friends, religious books, food, facebook, exercise, campus ministry, church, bible study. A lot of those are wonderful parts of my life, but they are nothing but idols if I put them before the God who created the world and everything in it. My friend Dustin tweeted something that made me really take a long look at what my actions in every circumstance say to the people in my life. He said, "How we live our lives is the best indicator of what we really believe". Does my way of living show that I believe in a big and mighty God that is perfectly capable of answering big prayers? Does my way of living show that I serve a God who loves you and me in ways that we don't deserve? Does my way of living show that joy is not based on circumstances, but comes from our wonderful Lord and Savior? Does yours? So, to wrap this rambling up--Today, I will trust that God is good in every season of my life. I will believe that God is the ONLY one who will ever satisfy my soul. I will not compare myself to the world, but to Jesus Christ. I will forgive because I have been forgiven.

Clinging to these verses today as I remember that I am not in control of my life and I am definitely not always right. God's thoughts and ways are so much better than mine. Praise him, praise him! [Insert Brittany saying that in her crazy preacher voice and Hannah adding an "AMEN GUR, AMEN!"]

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9